REVIVE US AGAIN

The Value of a Wife/Mom

This morning I sat in my quiet pre-sunrise living room catching up on a few facebook posts (this is about the extent of my interaction with the outside world) and trying to catch a bit of weather while my husband was preparing himself for work.  I came across a blog that a man (Steven Nelms) wrote to and about his wife.  It is absolutely beautiful and touched me so greatly that it sparked an instant desire in me to write this blog. As you my faithful friends and loved ones know, I've been in a dry spell as far as blogging for a couple of years now.  I've been busy with life and just haven't disciplined myself lately to take the time to do so.  And for that, I truly am sorry as I am so blessed from writing these (probably more than anyone who ever reads them, if anyone besides my husband even does). I will post a link to Steven Nelms's blog at the end of mine so you can read it. Please be sure to do so as it blessed my socks (okay, my house shoes) off this morning.

I have been a stay at home mom, now a homemaker (as all our children are grown and out of the home).  Before this, I was in the professional world, same as my husband. We both brought home roughly the same amount of money and could afford anything and everything we needed or desired.  The downside to this was the stress level in our home.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I found myself forced to stay at home for an extended period of time.  This was so foreign to me.  I had worked since the day I turned sixteen, at times even working two jobs to make ends meet as I was a single mom before my husband and I met.  It took a lot of courage and faith in God to take that leap to one income knowing that on paper we would NEVER be able to pay our current mortgage in a 3400 sq. ft. home with all the expenses that went with it (there is a reason I'm sharing such personal information). But, we put our Faith in God knowing that cradled in His hands, we would be okay no matter what happened.  We were on the verge of foreclosure and God spoke to me in a dream (no I'm not a quack, this was real...it came true), and told me that I would not go back to work outside the home and we would not lose our home.  When I shared this with my husband after more prayer and quiet time with my Lord, he of course had his doubts wondering why God had not shared this same information with him.  But being the true man of God that he is, he listened and decided to trust that I truly had heard from God as this is how God communicates with me because that's usually my only real downtime. During the day, Praise and worship music is constantly going in my home, but I don't have a lot of quiet time. So I began to cling to Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." NIV.  In the end, we not only won our foreclosure case, it was determined the mortgage company filed illegal documents and we received a settlement to boot.  All glory given to God.  I got a little off topic, but I couldn't help  sharing how God always has you in his arms and takes care of you. He is faithful!

So, I had now been a stay at home mom/wife for several years and had settled into my role as wife and mother.  However, I was (and sometimes still am especially since we are empty-nesters now) constantly being looked down upon, ridiculed such as "don't you feel unimportant?" or "aren't you unsatisfied not having something for yourself?"' and I was/am whispered about behind my back.  Occasionally, I meet a woman who would commend me for my "sacrifice" saying that they would go crazy if they had to be at home with their children 24/7 or be bored at home with nothing to do. By this time, it bewildered me why every mother/wife would not want to be the one spending her time, and resources devoted to her family.  The reactions of others makes it difficult at times to see my true value. A lot of people see women who stay at home as lazy like "Peggy Bundy" who sits around all day watching soap operas and eating Bon-Bons.  I assure you that is usually not the case.

Our home life when my husband and I were both in the professional world was always stressful.  We would get up in the mornings (usually late) and start the day by arguing over who got the shower first. The last one usually was late to work. We would argue over who was supposed to have gone by the dry-cleaner the night before because one or both of us didn't have the proper attire to wear to work that day.  We constantly grabbed fast food because grocery shopping and preparing meals was just not feasible by the end of the day.  We were constantly bickering at each other for no other reason than we both were exhausted and completely stressed out.

When I began to stay at home, I was able to eliminate most if not all of my stress therefore allowing me the energy and time to help relieve some of my husband's stress when he came home. I was able to go grocery shopping and prepare healthy meals.  I was able to keep our granddaughter (now ten years old) from an infant until she was in school full time while her young parents got on their feet, working full time while in college full time.  I've been able to do some great volunteer work within my community for those less fortunate or who just need a hand up after a tragedy and take our last child (a late teenager by this time) with me to help volunteer and learn the value of giving back to your community. I was able to stay on top of the majority of the housework, could run errands for my husband, have coffe ready by the time my husband wakes, and his lunch ready for when he walks out of the door in the morning.  Essentially I could be what I personally believe God intended for a woman when He made her out of the rib of a man to be his help-meet. (I, like Mr. Nelms, am not trying to condemn any woman who is not staying home for any reason. I am only sharing  my personal journey and convictions.)

I believe this is what has saved my marriage.  This has allowed us to grow close again as a couple.  Instead of constantly being at odds with one another due  to nothing more than stress, we began to work together as a team facing the world together as one unit.

We are now empty-nesters and I had toyed with the idea of returning to the work force.  I discussed this with my husband and he was/is in no uncertain terms against it.  But respecting me not only as a mom and wife,  but as a fully capable and intelligent woman, he left the decision up to me. Together,  we went over the pros and cons and I made the decision to remain at home still for the benefit of my family.  Still when our granddaughter is ill on a school day and her mom or dad is unable to take the day off, I get a phone call and have the opportunity to spend special time with her.

Even though I know my husband values my role in the home and has assured me that he will do whatever needs to be done to keep that a possibility, I still feel guilty at times especially when I get negative responses from outside sources.  I  had never put a monetary figure on my value in the home. I hesitiate to buy something for myself that is needed even if it's just a few dollars.  i will put it in my shopping cart but start to feel such guilt as i go about my shopping that i will put it back on the shelf or rack. I don't hesitate to buy necessities for my family.

So, in closing, seeing it put into words by Mr. Helms, has made me stop and realize how much more value I have at home than I realized.  Thank you so much Mr. Helms.

Please go read this blog.  It matters not whether you stay at home, with or without kids, or if you don't and want to understand why women decide to do so.  While some may be the lazy "Peggy Bundy" types, the majority of us are not.

Here is the link to the blog by Steven Nelms.
http://www.weareglory.com/blog/fathers-you-cant-afford-a-stay-at-home-mom

With my deepest thanks to Mr. Nelms and my geatest appreciation to Mrs. Nelms, allow me to raise a glass in the hopes of the start of changing the majority viewpoint of couples across the world!

With love until next time, Stephie

SPIRITUAL MUSCLES

Webster's Collegiate Dictionary defines faith as "akin to trust", "loyalty", or "belief in the traditional doctrines of religion".  But the Bible tells us that "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see".  (Hebrews 11:1)

2 Timothy 3 tells us that the Holy Scriptures make us wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.  And that all Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching. 

You can't gain wisdom without studying.  You can't expect to automatically know Algebra or Latin if you don't spend ample time learning!  And, once we learn it, we must practice it to retain that knowledge.  I don't know about you, but there are many things that I learned in school that I have forgotten from non-use.  The knowledge is deep in there somewhere, but it is not at the ready.  I would need to refresh this knowledge to make it usable.  These same principles apply to faith!  If we don't study God's LIVING Word, we won't grow because "Faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the Word."  (Romans 10:17)

Faith is like muscles.  The more you exercise it, the stronger it grows.  As most of you know, I injured my back over two years ago.  I have had two major back surgeries in the span of the past 15 months.  I learned a lot through this experience both physically and spiritually.  One thing I learned was that with this type of injury, your core muscles shut down and go into preservation mode.  When this happens, you have the potential to do even more damage to your spine because your core muscles are what hold your spine in place while you move.  If your muscles shut down, they aren't doing their job. 

Another thing I learned is that I now have a lot of scar tissue.  This tissue is living (this was news to me!) and definitely unwanted.  It serves no good purpose.  It does nothing but cause me pain and limited mobility.  But my physical therapist taught me that the more I work the muscles surrounding this tissue, the more the blood flows to that area.  And the more the blood flows to that area, the more it will diminish the scar tissue until it will eventually be gone.  Now, think about this in spiritual terms.  The unwanted things in our lives, or sins if you will, (admit it, we all have them) are like scar tissue.  They serve no good purpose and cause pain.  So, how do we get rid of it?  We work our "spiritual muscles" so that these unwanted things will be diminished to the point of non-existence!  

So, let's not take our faith for granted.  Let's spend quality time learning God's Word and gaining wisdom and strength.  Let us exercise our faith because it is a powerful thing.  Matthew 17:20 tells us that even faith as small as a mustard seed can move a mountain.  Nothing is impossible for us!  Then we must use that faith for God's glory because without faith, it is impossible to please God.  (Hebrews 11:6)

If you take anything at all away from this, I pray that it will be the following.  "To those who through the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ have received a faith so precious as ours: Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.  His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.  Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.  For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.  For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Peter 1:1-8

©   2011 Stephanie Kepler

Loveth Not? Knoweth Not!

He is the God of love and peace. (2 Corinthians 13:11)

The word tells us that if we do not love, we do not know God. (1 John 4:8)  This always reminds me of that old song that kids are taught in aid to learning memory verses.  "Beloved, let us love one another.  For love is of God and everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God.  He who loveth not, knoweth not God for God is love.  Beloved, let us love one another. 1 John 4:7-8".  I find myself singing this quite often.  But, singing it and breaking it down into understanding are two separate things. 

I want to share with you a couple of aspects of the love of God.  There are too many to count and if I tried to encase all of them here, this would turn into an epic-sized novel.  But, in my personal experience, two areas of God's love that mean the world to me are "dependability" and "everlasting".

Psalm 59:10 tells us that his love is dependable.  I don't know about you, but being able to depend on God is HUGE for me.  I have not had many in my life that I could depend on in any capacity.  It has always been me, myself and I.  I learned at a very young age what dependability wasn't.  It took me years before I knew the love of God and realized the dependability I have in him.  And I have to say, it feels great.  I know that I will NEVER again have to go it alone.  God is my companion, my confidante, my guide, my shelter, my strong tower and my very present help in my time of need.  I can't imagine a life without him!

Another kind of love that I've never known until God is an "everlasting" love.  In my life, love had always meant someone who was in and out of my life most often faster than I could even learn their name.  I learned to live with this growing up.  I "took it in stride" thinking that all love was this way.  But that is not what true love is.  God is the perfect example of true love.  His love is immeasurable and everlasting.  He will not leave you.  I have learned this kind of love - this "perfect" love.  And it can only come from God.

So, if you don't know what God means to you, get a Bible.  Read the Word.  It is alive.  I have a close friend who says God's Word is "In Living Color" and I totally agree with her.  My prayer for you is Paul's prayer for all of us "...to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3:18-19)

©   2011 Stephanie Kepler

Meandering Through Life

Do you ever feel like you are meandering through life with no direction or guidance?  Getting turned around with every twist and turn in the road? 

Sheep roam in the fields or on mountains looking for the next green patch of grass or the next crystal clear stream.  They are by nature meanderers.  So, it is not shocking when one sheep gets separated from the flock.  Thus the need for shepherds.

Many places in the Bible we are referred to as "little sheep" or "lambs".  And it also tells us that we are not to be as sheep that have no shepherd (Numbers 27:17).  Without a shepherd, we are afraid, terrified and we go missing (Jeremiah 23:4)  And when we are lost, we are like sheep roaming on the tops of mountains (Jeremiah 50:6). 

But God has given us provision for the lost.  "For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost."  Luke 19:10.  How amazing is that?  A true shepherd will leave the ninety-nine to find the one lost sheep.  And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and carries it home.  And then once he's home, he calls his friends and neighbors and rejoices that he found his one lost sheep.  And there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.  (Luke 15:1-7)

We need the guidance of not just any shepherd....THE GOOD SHEPHERD who knows his sheep (John 10:14) and gives his life for them (John 10:11).

So, what do we do when we find ourselves meandering in circles like a sheep with no shepherd?  We cry out to him and he will show us the path of life (Psalm 16:11).  And we stay in his Word for it is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path (Psalm 119:105).

©   2011 Stephanie Kepler

Stone Mason of the Heart

The Bible tells us that the hidden person of the heart is where the Lord's eyes are fixed (1 Peter 3:4). 

What are the motives of your heart?  Solomon tells us that "People eventually reveal by their actions if their motives are on the up and up" (Prov. 20:11 MSG).  According to Proverbs 27:19, the heart reflects the man.  We should have our hearts close to God not just give him "lip service"  ***  (Matthew 15:8).

And know that eventually, what is hidden in our hearts will come out of our mouths (Matthew 15:18).  What we store up is what comes out (Matthew 12:35). 

The sermon on the mount shows us what a "right" relationship with God really looks like.  That is where the beatitudes were given.  And Matthew 5:8 says "Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God".  I don't know about you, but my goal is to see God!

When we surrender wholly to him, he starts to change us from the inside out.  We know when this has happens.  We can tell by the way a life is lived; it is shown by the fruits of one's labor (1 Cor. 3:8).  And we can tell by the words that are spoken because out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks (Matthew 12:34).

There are many reasons that someone can have a heart that's not focused solely on the things of the Lord.  Sometimes we just want to be the center of attention.  Sometimes we were not raised to know any better.  And sometimes, the things that were done to us have caused us to harden our hearts in self-preservation.  The list just goes on and on.  But God can change us and heal us from ANYTHING!

I am very passionate about this because I have lived it.  I had terrible things happen as a child.  I had hardened my heart so much that one more squeeze would cause it to shatter into a million pieces.  I harbored anger, resentment, rage, hatred and many more emotions.  I held them inside for so many years that it eventually caused ME harm.  I acted and reacted in accordance with my stone-hard heart.  Even after I had forgiven those that hurt me, my heart remained hard because I was trying to protect it. This caused a space between me and my husband (I love you Reece because you stuck with me even though you didn't fully understand at the time).  But most importantly, it caused a space between me and Abba Father.  So, I began praying for God to soften my heart.  I prayed every day for this.  I didn't see results right away.  But some time later I looked back and realized that my walls were down.  I was allowing people in again.  And my relationship with my Heavenly Father was so much closer.  And most importantly, the things of God began to flow from my heart!

So, know that whatever the circumstances, you can pray to God for a new heart; one that is clean and pure and softened to his voice.  And guess what....just as a stone mason chisels away the ugly, rough edges of a stone to make a beautiful masterpiece; so does God chip away at the unwanted things of our hearts making us HIS masterpiece. 

"I'll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you.  I'll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that's God-willed, not self-willed." Ezekiel 36:26 MSG.

*** (Quotations here being my own slang and not a direct quote from the Bible.) 

©   2011 Stephanie Kepler

The Raising of the Harvest

Are we being rebellious in Spirit?  Are we trying to be stubborn and not do what the Lord is leading us to do?  Are we being contrary to our convictions?  Rebelling against our Heavenly Father the way teenagers often do with their earthly ones?  What does the Word say about a person with a rebellious heart?

We are storing up wrath for the day of God's wrath when his righteous judgment will be revealed (Romans 2:5).   Proverbs 19:3 tells us he ruins his life as his heart rages against the Lord.  Proverbs 12:8 says they are despised.  Proverbs 11:20 even goes so far as to say the Lord despises those who hold perversity (being marked by a disposition to oppose or contradict) in their hearts. 

It is easy for us to applaud this behavior calling it independence or idealism when it is really rebellion and pride.  (OUCH!!)  But it is a heart thing.  What is in our hearts?  Faith or rebellion?

Jesus forgave the sins of the paralyzed man when he saw the faith in the hearts of those who carried him (Matthew 9:2).  He healed the sick woman of her disease because of the faith in her heart (Matthew 9:22). 

So what does this mean? 

We should be willing to die for our faith like Esther (Esther 4:16).  As Americans we don't typically face religious persecution unto death.  But if we were faced with it, would we die to protect and uphold our religious beliefs?  We should submit more to our Heavenly Father (the father of our spirits) so that we may live (Hebrews 12:9).  We should pray for a teachable heart and submit to God (James 4:7).

And finally, we should be peacemakers.  "Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness." James 3:18  What kind of harvest are we raising?

©   2011 Stephanie Kepler